


Household management

by nightbloomingcereus



Series: Name That Author prompt fills [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Ficlet, Humor, M/M, Mrs. Beeton's Book of Household Management, Or Is It?, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23822050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightbloomingcereus/pseuds/nightbloomingcereus
Summary: Crowley knew better than most that one should never judge a book, especially this book, by its cover.In whichMrs. Beeton's Book of Household Managementis not all that it seems, and Aziraphale is having none of it.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Name That Author prompt fills [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1737703
Comments: 24
Kudos: 67
Collections: Name That Author Round One





	Household management

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Name that Author game on the GO-events discord server. The prompt was "Six weeks after the world doesn't end, Aziraphale shows up at Crowley's door holding a book." Huge thanks to [curtaincall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/curtaincall/pseuds/curtaincall) for organizing! 
> 
> And do check out the rest of the ficlets in this collection - they are all amazing!

"CROWLEY. EXPLAIN."

Aziraphale thrust a hefty leather-bound tome at Crowley's chest. He grabbed it by reflex; Hell hath no fury like a bookseller scorned, and dropping said bookseller's precious book was an excellent way to get into even more trouble. 

It was _Mrs. Beeton's Book of Household Management._ At least, that was what the cover said, but Crowley knew better than most that one should never judge a book, especially this book, by its cover.

"It's just some Victorian pornography, Angel. Don't look so shocked. I know for a fact you've got far more risqué things in that collection of yours."

"I'm not angry about the pornography, you idiot!" yelled Aziraphale, crowding up into Crowley's space. "This book is a _first edition_! Do you have any idea how rare first edition Mrs. Beetons without brown sauce stains are?!?"

"Oh," said Crowley dumbly. Comprehension was taking him significantly longer than usual because he had been distracted first by the exhilarating sight of Aziraphale in full avenging angel mode, all flashing storm-cloud eyes and glorious, righteous fury, and then by the angel's close proximity to his person, but eventually his brain caught up. "I didn't do anything to your book, Angel. This one is a miracled-up copy."

"Then _where is it_?"

"I've got it right here," said Crowley, leading the way through the front hallway and into his bedroom. He pulled open the drawer on his bedside table to reveal the book, which lay undamaged and virtually untouched[1] under a scrap of tartan fabric. 

"Is that one of my bow ties?" asked Aziraphale. 

Crowley hastily extracted the book and slammed the drawer shut. He made a series of incoherent noises, but was saved from having to produce an actual, verbal answer because Aziraphale was busy flipping through the authentic _Mrs. Beeton_ , humming happily as he saw that the book had suffered no damage during its impromptu sabbatical in Mayfair. 

Satisfied, he turned his attention back to Crowley. The fury was gone from his eyes, replaced by the devious look that Crowley loved. He picked up the fake _Mrs. Beeton_ and flipped it open to Chapter 11[2], which contained various images of two individuals, one handsome, tall, and with distinctive violet eyes, and the other small, dark-haired, and domineering, engaged in what the book tastefully labeled as _carnal embrace._

"You know," he said, "I should send this to Gabriel. He did wish to purchase it after all, and even thanked me for it. I wouldn't be a very good bookseller if I didn't send him his book. He's probably been waiting for it for weeks."

"Oh, but Angel," replied Crowley, "don't you think he intended it as a gift?"

He snapped his fingers. A large lavender bow appeared around the book, and then he sent it straight down to Hell.

* * *

[1]Crowley had actually tried to read it one evening, but it turned out to be even more boring and longwinded than one of Dagon's contracts.return to text

[2] _Various Modes of Cooking Meat_ return to text


End file.
